How I grieve for the youth of today.

So recently I had the pleasure of engaging in the wonderful art of conversation with a simpleton by the name of Kenny Tran. Now let me tell you, dear readers, I am not one to dismiss another out of hand without giving them a fair chance to share their thoughts or opinions. I am not one stirred to action or otherwise act brashly, yet there are some things that I cannot help but feel strongly about. Peruse the below conversation, if you will.

Can someone please explain what just happened? That was a rhetorical question. I’ll be the one doing the explaining. I’ll even put it in terms our pal the_azn_kid73@hotmail.com could understand. This may be a little jarring, I apologize. It will be written from Kenny’s perspective.

so first this guy msged me lol nd then he said sum stuff that i dont understand!! wat a fag so i just sed shut up a bunhc. he kept saying stuff that i didn’t get so i told him to shut up becuz smart peeple make me feel sad becauz im dumb but thats k becuz im chill. peeple like jared need me so i can be exploited (i dunt even no wut that word means)

I apologize for any scarring of brain tissue that may have occurred while you attempted to comprehend that menagerie of poorly conceived sentence fragments and grammatically challenged statements.

Now, I understand that this is only my interpretation, and as history has shown, rarely does one side hold all the facts in the palm of their hand. For all I know, Kenny could be an educated and dapper fellow, learned in the many aristocratic arts. He could secretly possess a great fondness for poetry, behooved by society to keep his secret under wraps. Note his precarious use of the word “Fag”. You may be familiar with the term. Most often it is used as an insult between 12-year-old boys incognizant of greater thought. It carries connotations of homosexuality as well as distaste.

Perhaps most interestingly, “Fag”, when not used facetiously, often implies some insecurity on the part of its user. What exactly does he have to be insecure of? These are questions to ponder should you ever interact with this pitiable adolescent. Confined to a life of mediocrity, perhaps. With his email address in your possession, there is nothing stopping you from continuing this investigation yourself.

And lastly, a slight aside:

You may have noticed my ironic emulation of teenager textual trademarks, on occasion. Generally I will fall into a limited prose when interacting with those of lesser intelligence, out of consideration. I try to bridge the gap, suggesting that the immensity of distance between the both of us that exists in reality is in fact but a hop, step, and jump. I lower myself to their level. However, once the mask has shattered, I maintain it — for irony’s sake. I cease my intentional restricting of vocabulary, offering a stark contrast to the limited and subdued communication of moments prior. This serves to distance myself from them and also aims to encourage feelings of deceit and betrayal.

I will also say that my use of the phrase “i don’t play by anyone’s rules but my own” was purely humorous and does not reflect upon myself at all.